a feeling of numbness

For some reason my brain isn't working, I feel like I should be being super productive, but my brain just wants me to sleep. Im going to friends tomorrow and I just want to stay on the sofa, and then my bff is coming for a visit on Sunday and again I just want to sleep. It'll be great to see them but oh man, so tired. And then that leaves Monday for business planning but I will probably just sleep then I am back to work on Tuesday. I really hate this depression, it rules my life, I try not to let it but actually it really does.
I finally fixed a dress that the washing machine ate a few years ago, and I finished my indigo dress, woot two more outfits in the fatty wardrobe.
Think I am going to sleep now, or maybe knit, I'm not sure. Fucking brain.

Home

I don't really want to go back to Dundee.

Home

I miss home, and my skin is itchy! Ugh

blackness road

so thinking about doing a blackness facebook page to let people know whats going on up here...note to self check out the broughton street facebook page!

leaflets cost money.

website. could cost money. suppose if you wix it with adds it would be cheaper....or get mark to make one....then just need to pay for the domain name. hmmmm ideas

dead mower

So the OH has started the grass, but our mower is fucked....typical! he borrowed his granparents. le sigh, nothing goes as planned. Right must hoover the shop and do the dishes!

Thoughts to ponder

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/246270

I will maybe talk on this tomorrow... Just thought it was important. Two of my customers say they like to be good to themselves, and they get more work done. Maybe I should try it!

Growth

I'm currently sat in the car while oh walks the dogs. I really should have gone with him, but I have no energy bars left, my head is so sore and I did try and sleep but I dunno, it's not soft enough!
I did get most of my to do list done today but it was a hard push....and I'm still coughing my lungs up.

Look at my sweet peas and chillis, going to repost them tomorrow into the big tub. And that should be them, I will do a bit of googling though and ensure that's ok, I want to make some macrame hanging baskets too....

Test knitting a pattern soon, found some stunning yarn. Need to sell stuff first! Text books are a go go! I will never use them. What's the point!

Things to do when I get in,
Washing on, make bed, undies away, sweep and mop bathroom floor, scrub the outside of the shower....UMM what else make a card for my dad, or use one I have

Really struggling in my headspace at the moment. Really wish I could fix it.

Taking mum to see wicked on Monday since she missed out due to the possibility of shingles!

Right here comes OH,

Days off, how do they work!

Mondays, Mondays are my day off, I look forward to these days so much, to have a sleep past 10am, to mope about in my pyjamas, catch up on knitting, do some cleaning, work on projects i have started, or want to start, cuddle the dogs. Then it comes to a Monday and i just want to sleep the day away, i am sat here in my jammies, watching murder she wrote, working on my dads hat, under my duvet, and i dont want to move. The bathroom needs to be cleaned, its gross, the bed needs changed as the mutt was sick on it, i need to put stuff away, plan business stuff, work on the new window diaplay, head to the shop and pick stuff up for this evening. but i cant be arsed moving, and then we are back to the whole freaking out about time as i need to go to the yarn bombing this eve. and i cant be arsed to leave the house. Im not sure if this leaving the house thing is anxiety, or laziness, or just comfort. I really dont know. It doesnt make sense to me, it comes from the days of working evenings and everything had to be done for a certain time so that i could go to work, but now its ridiculous, i mean ill be back at 8, thats still like 3 hours of home time. i really dont understand how this works. im not sure how to fix it! Maybe a cup of tea, and clean the bathroom...lol. 

But first i shall finish the ribbing on my dads hat! 

Writing it down helps! Sigh. 

Brain mush

This pic has no relevance to how I feel.

Monday's are odd for me, they are my day off on my own, I always feel so much pressure to do work stuff, be busy, clean, when all I want to do is sit and chill. I feel almost guilty for sitting watching murder she wrote, but it's the only day I have to work on what I want to. Then there is the pressure of getting the OH at 4.30 and walking the dogs. It's like being back at the Odeon, which is silly because after I walk the dogs...the evening is mine! Gonna do more knitting and then dye maybe after tea! Means I'm not in the way for making tea. Plus it's only 2.40 that's ages. Just chill out dude!.

I also now have a skipping rope...once OH comes home. Never thought about that for loosing weight. Need to get the Wii Matt out to see how fat I am!

Right pizza should be ready...om nom nom!

Snow, da fu

So yesterday i climbed to the top of the siddlaws in the middle of a snow storm, i say storm, flurry, i dunno. 

but i think i have the cold. ugh. shop window has been changed.

planning lots of things, my head is sleepy, just wanted to chat but this seems super disjointed so i dont know. Lets keep the momentum going! 

Garlic

Why does garlic make everything taste better?
Smear it on a pizza...boom...done

flare obsession

So i aquired a bit of an obsession about flares, but not your little boot cut nonsense, i mean flare from the hip flares, will catch everything on the ground and soak up all the moisture you come in contact flares. I have searched forever to find a pattern that would fit my size 20 ass....so i tracked down this pattern on the wonderful ebay. but its for a size 12 if i am lucky, so it has been on my to do list to scale this pattern up for AGES now, and work on a twall! 

So just after a quick google i have found some sites that let you know how to grade up a pattern. just going to leave them here as my pinterest is cluttered as it is. Then end goal is something like the below photo. mmmm cosy chords for winter! END GAME! 

http://mellysews.com/2014/09/grade-sewing-patterns-part-2.html

http://www.burdastyle.com/techniques/make-a-pattern-larger-or-smaller

http://sensibility.com/blog/tips/how-to-resize-a-pattern/

Sleeping with the mutts

there is just something really conforting to have something so little (arth) snuggle into your belly and share his heat with you. They are so adorable, i like ossy when he lies at my back, they really help me relax and eventually fall asleep and i focus on their breating and how cosy they are. These dudes just make me so happy. Yes the bed is always gritty, and yes we had to upgrade to a super king size, but i dont care. people who dont let their dogs in the bed are missing out!

Swim swim swim

Met this little babe today. She is adorable, and quiet, soft and cosy. Doesn't make me want one....I want another puppy. Ha! Not anytime soon. 3 dogs...mental.
Swam 30lengths this eve...feeling good, my waterproof mp3 player kept me going limp bizkit break stuff is quite a good choon to swim to, unless you get caught singing....oops....sorry golden girls!
Right now food and knitting, will this shawl ever end? It's not that I hate it, I adore it but I want to cast on something new!!! Ahhhhh

Zzzz

Can't sleep, look at my dog!

DD1

Had a good business meeting with the  DD1 peeps. Seem like a good group. Met the owner of papa Joe's and the apex and McDonalds. Nice guys. The overgate marketing lady was super nice too!
Swam 31 lengths. Got all my bits done, then I slept till 7pm oops. Dunno what's wrong with me. OH bought me dominos. My aisling is taking forever to finish. However it is a huge shawl!

Bed time
Started flesh eye. Forgot how Mich I like reading.

And I'm done for the day

So i managed to clear the coal bunkers and clear all the glass from the path at the back, swept the access path and the close. Poop picking up another day!
Now we have a chippy and I do some knitting!

Project fix the stupid garden

So as I have mentioned before our back garden is a communal garden shared by three blocks of flats. It's a state. People just dint give a crap, it's literally full of dog poo and rubbish and stuff that people Chuck out their Windows. I'm sick of it!
Everyone at knit night is talking about working in their gardens, so I have decided to claim this awesome space as mine! And I will report all the dog poppers and shout at children and be a grumpy old woman!
I don't know if you can see but that mess in the corner next to the metal grate is away to be binned...thank God for Euro bins! If I have time I will pick up all the poo and rubbish, sweep the close and back path. OH is away to walk the mutts so I'm on my own :( but it's breezy and the washing is out.

Do you ever feel like there is so much to do, like I want to achieve so much, but I dont have the capacity to do it all!

Best stop moaning and get started!!

Washing oot

Ahh what a beautiful day in Dundee. First day of the year that I have gotten my washing out. The line needs changed, it's all fibrey. Boke. Got loads of housework done too. Bedroom is twinkling. Ah the simple things. I keep looking out at the midden of a garden and wishing it was beautiful, and all mine! I think the plan this summer is to get it all looking awesome! Ha, fairly sure we have said that before. Back to swimming again tonight, went last Tuesday, I'm glad I'm back at it, really feeling the chub, hoping my waterproof mp3 player turns up tomorrow...chooons...
Anyhow, off out to walk the dogs down the ferry and then back to my coopknits socks! They are so so awesome!

Granda

So today was Mark's uncle Peters funeral. I really hate funerals. I always end up like a blubbering mess, obviously I am sad that the person is gone, but every time I'm at at a funeral it reinforces how much I miss my Granda.